Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 40 of 235
One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard
Part Two - "Julia"
Julia is a woman on the altar. Rule for deciding the concealed possessions of Julia: no. Julia is wearing a sacramental vestment. The description of Julia is "Julia is a (mostly) very pretty young woman with jet-black hair. Her striking brown eyes are red-rimmed, as if she has been crying. Her nose...let's not mention her nose. She wears the traditional vestment of the sacrificial virgin." Understand "woman", "virgin", "vestal", and "sacrificial" as Julia. The conversation of Julia is the Table of Julia's Chatter. The default reply of Julia is "Julia cries. 'Uhuhu! Uhuhu[10 as a reference]!' ".
Julia's tears are part of Julia. The description of Julia's tears is "Tears streak Julia's pretty face." Understand "crying" as Julia's tears.
Julia's hair is part of Julia. The description of Julia's hair is "Julia's hair is black as night; she wears it in a simple braid tied with a red ribbon." Understand "jet-black" and "braid" as Julia's hair.
The red ribbon is worn by Julia. The description is "A cerise silk ribbon binds Julia's braid." Understand "cerise" and "silk" as the red ribbon.
Julia's eyes are part of Julia. Julia's eyes are ambiguously plural. The description of Julia's eyes is "Lovely deep-brown eyes, unpleasantly reddened." Understand "eye", "reddened" and "brown" as Julia's eyes.
Julia's nose is part of Julia. The description of Julia's nose is "Well, there's no way around it. Julia's nose is big and ugly." Understand "big", "ugly", "horrible", "enormous", "beak", "hideous", "vile", and "abominable" as the nose. Instead of blowing Julia's nose the first time: say "Julia is ritually consecrated to the priest of Jupiter Virilis. To violate her purity would be an affront to Jupiter. You don't want to go there."
Instead of blowing Julia's nose: say "As was predicted, Jupiter takes rather grave exception to your messing around with his girl. A well-placed lightning strike ends your career."; end the story saying "You have been incinerated".
Instead of kissing Julia's nose, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of rubbing Julia's nose, try blowing Julia's nose.
Julia's lips are part of Julia. Julia's lips are ambiguously plural. The description is "Julia's lips are not noteworthy enough to draw attention away from what hangs above them." Understand "lip" and "mouth" as Julia's lips.
Julia's breasts are part of Julia. Julia's breasts are ambiguously plural. The description is "Julia's breasts look firm and delectable." Understand "chest", "bosom", "firm", "delectable", "breast", "tit", "breasts", "hooter", "hooters", "boob", and "boobs" as Julia's breasts.
Instead of smelling Julia, say "Julia carries a faint scent of lilac." Instead of tasting Julia, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of touching Julia, try blowing Julia's nose.
Instead of giving the bag to Julia, say "Julia brightens slightly. 'That's a sweet idea....but how would the priest know I'm wearing it? Why not give it to him instead?'" Instead of putting the bag on Julia, try giving the bag to Julia. Instead of giving the mask to Julia, say "Julia brightens slightly. 'That's a sweet idea....but how would the priest know I'm wearing it? Why not give it to him instead?'" Instead of putting the mask on Julia, try giving the mask to Julia
Instead of sucking Julia, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of buggering Julia, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of fucking Julia, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of sucking Julia's nose, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of fucking Julia's nose, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of blowing Julia, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of kissing Julia, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of wanking off Julia, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of rubbing Julia, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of kissing Julia's lips, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of fucking Julia's lips, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of sucking Julia's lips, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of kissing Julia's breasts, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of fucking Julia's breasts, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of sucking Julia's breasts, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of tasting Julia's breasts, try blowing Julia's nose. Instead of touching Julia's breasts, try blowing Julia's nose.
The vestment is a garment. The description of the vestment is "The vestment is the traditional garb of the sacrificial virgin when she is offered to Jupiter Virilis. It reflects Jupiter's divine tastes, in that it's flimsy and revealing and essentially meretricious. It is sky-blue and made of very thin silk." Understand "sacrificial", "flimsy", "meretricious", "blue", "sky", "sky-blue", "thin", and "silk" as the vestment.
Table of Julia's Chatter
| topic | reply | summary | turn stamp |
| "tears/crying" | "Julia sniffs, 'The priest is unable to perform his priestly duties.'" | "she is crying because the priest is impotent" | a number |
| "nose" | "Julia cries. 'My nose is ugly! Uhuhu! Uhuhu!'[10 as a reference]" | "her nose is ugly" | -- |
| "nosejob" or "nose job" | "Julia blushes and looks away." | "she is embarrassed by the mention of a nose job" | -- |
| "priest/impotent/impotence" or "priest of Jupiter" or "priest of Jupiter Virilis" | "Julia moans, 'The priest of the god cannot perform his duties. I just know it's because of my horrible, hideous, vile, abominable nose!'" | "the priest is put off by her nose" | -- |
| "Julia/herself/sacrifice/duty/duties/her/altar/temple" | "Julia groans, 'I was to have been today's sacrifice to Jupiter Virilis. But now the priest cannot perform the ritual. Oh! The shame! Uhuhu! Uhuhu!'" | "she was to have been the sacrifice, but the priest is unable to perform" | -- |
| "hair" | "Julia preens. 'Nice, isn't it? I was [italic type]so[roman type] hoping that Jupiter would adorn it with his seed. But...that is not to be. Uhuhu! Uhuhu!'" | "she is proud of her hair" | -- |
| "Julius" | "Julia shrugs. 'My mother says he's sexy. Unless you mean Caesar. Mom thinks he's sexy too, though.'" | "Julia's mother thinks Julius Caesar is sexy" | -- |
| "Caesar" or "Julius Caesar" | "Julia shrugs. 'My mother thinks he's sexy, but he's bald.'" | "Caesar's baldness is not a turn-on" | -- |
| "Anthony/Tony/Brutus/Antony/Naughtius/Maximus/Biggus/Dickus/Magnus/Prickus/friends/sycophants" or "Naughtius Maximus" or "Biggus Dickus" or "Magnus Prickus" | "Julia shrugs with a small grimace of distaste." | "she doesn't care much for Caesar's friends" | -- |
| "mother" | "Julia looks suspicious. 'You leave my mother out of this.'" | "she doesn't want to talk about her mother" | -- |
| "Aemilia/Ameliam" | "Julia looks [italic type]very[roman type] suspicious. 'I don't want to know how you know my mother's name.'" | "she is alarmed that you know her mother's name" | -- |
| "Marcus/Marcum" | "Julia rolls her eyes. 'A violent psychopath. He's enjoyed tormenting me since we were children.'" | "she doesn't like her brother Marcus much" | -- |
| "Quintus/Quintum" | "Julia shrugs. 'Well, he's better than Marcus.'" | "she prefers her brother Quintus to her other brother Marcus" | -- |
| "god/Jupiter/Jove/Virilis" or "Jupiter Virilis" | "Julia sighs. 'He's so [italic type]dreamy[roman type].'" | "she's not an unwilling sacrifice" | -- |
| "Syra" | "Julia nods pensively. 'We had a maidservant named Syra once. Her nose was big. Like mine. Uhuhu! Uhuhu!'" | "she had a nasally endowed maidservant named Syra" | |
| "uhuhu" | "Julia looks even more unhappy. 'Now you're making fun of the way I cry? You beastly, beastly man! Uhuhu! Uhuhu!'" | "'Uhuhu' is just the way she sobs" | -- |
Test Julia with "X Julia / Ask Julia about hair / Ask Julia about nose / Ask Julia about crying / Ask Julia about priest / Ask Julia about duty / Ask Julia about Jupiter".