Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 59 of 235

Section Two - "Dear Old Dad"

Cocky is a man on the wooden chair. The printed name of Cocky is "Cocky Makane". The indefinite article of Cocky is "your". Understand "father", "dad", "grizzled", "Macanus", "Gallio", "Gallus", "veteran", "pop", "pa", "cock", "cocky", "makane", "man", and "old" as Cocky. The description is "Your father, Cocky Makane[17 as a footnote], is a grizzled old veteran with a good nose for a profit. He's sitting in a chair at a small table, the morning rush of clients having spent itself. He appears to be checking a ledger for accuracy." The default reply of Cocky is "'Son, I'm not going to answer stupid questions.'" The conversation of Cocky is the Table of Cocky's Chatter. Cocky has a virginity. Cocky is unboinked. [Thankfully, not for what you're thinking.]

Before asking Cocky about something:

if Stiffy at Sea has happened

begin;

say "Cocky shakes his head. 'Son,' he says, 'it's nice to see you, but[run paragraph on]";

if the Golden Banana of Discord is held by the player

begin;

if the Golden Banana of Discord is warned_about

begin;

say " shouldn't you be taking that banana to Eris in Olympus?'";

otherwise;

say " shouldn't you be getting that banana peeled?'";

end if;

otherwise;

say " aren't you supposed to be out finding the Golden Banana?'";

end if;

stop the action;

end if.

Before asking Cocky about "signet ring", replace the topic understood with "ring".

Before asking Cocky about "ring/signet":

if Cocky is not_warned_about

begin;

replace the topic understood with "#fake0";

otherwise;

if the signet ring is not visible, replace the topic understood with "#fake1";

end if.

Before asking Cocky about "golden ass", replace the topic understood with "ship".

Before asking Cocky about "ship/golden/ass/yacht/boat/vessel":

if Cocky is not_warned_about

begin;

replace the topic understood with "#fake2";

end if.

Before asking Cocky about "Eris/Discordia":

if Cocky is not_warned_about, replace the topic understood with "#fake3".

Before asking Cocky about "Jupiter Virilis", replace the topic understood with "Jupiter".

Before asking Cocky about "jupiter/virilis/jove/zeus":

if Cocky is not_warned_about, replace the topic understood with "#fake4".

Instead of giving or showing the ring to Cocky, say "'I'm glad you found it,' he says. 'By all means, keep it. You've earned it.'"

Instead of touching, rubbing, sucking, fucking, blowing, kissing, or wanking off Cocky:

If Stiffy Makane is filthy, instead say "Your father recoils. 'You're covered in sewage!' he exclaims. 'Get yourself to the baths!'";

say "Your father gently, but firmly, pushes you away. 'Son,' he says, not unkindly, 'that's among the many reasons our branch of the Makanes moved [italic type]away[roman type] from Luca.'"

Rule for deciding the concealed possessions of Cocky: no.

Cocky's nose is part of Cocky. Understand "beak" as Cocky's nose. The description is "In addition to being keenly able to smell a profit, Cocky's nose is a classic Roman beak."

Cocky's ledger is held by Cocky. Understand "paper", "debit", "credit", "business", "account", "accounting", "scroll", and "papyrus" as the ledger. The description is "The ledger is a papyrus scroll mostly filled with debit-and-credit information relating to your father's business."

Cocky's pen is held by Cocky. Understand "reed" as Cocky's pen. The description is "Cocky is making notations with a reed pen."

Cocky's table is a supporter in the Tablinum. It is scenery. The description is "It's just a plain wooden table, stacked up with papers, notes, and tablets. There's an inkwell, a stylus, some sealing-wax: basically, all the appurtenances of transacting business." Understand "wood", "wooden", "plain", "papers", "notes", "tablet", "tablets", "note", "inkwell", "stylus", "wax", "sealing", and "sealing wax" as Cocky's table. Instead of doing anything other than examining with Cocky's table, say "Your father's warning glance freezes you in your tracks." Instead of putting anything on Cocky's table, try taking Cocky's table. Instead of removing anything from Cocky's table, try taking Cocky's table.

Table of Cocky's Chatter