Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 21 of 235
One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard
Release 1
Chapter Two - "Prayers"
Table of Prayer
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place |
| unknown | "#NONE," | "#&^#$" | "The gods are silent." | "The gods are silent." | a number | a room |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place |
| hint_battlement_intro | "Icarus" | "Icarus" | "Jump!" | "Icarus said to jump." | -- | -- |
| hint_lake_intro | "Neptune" | "Neptune/Poseidon" | "Looks like you[apostrophe]re gonna drown." | "Neptune said you were going to drown." | -- | -- |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place |
| hint_caesar | "Eros" | "Eros" | "I think you should go ahead and bone Caesar. He[apostrophe]s pretty hot." | "Eros thought you should bang Julius Caesar." | -- | -- |
| hint_julia | "Jupiter Virilis" | "Jupiter/Virilis" or "Jupiter Virilis" | "See if you can get my priest back in here, ready to perform his duty." | "Jupiter Virilis said you should get the priest back in." | -- | -- |
| hint_priest | "Jupiter Virilis" | "Jupiter/Virilis" or "Jupiter Virilis" | "Maybe you can find some way to distract him from Julia[apostrophe]s, ah, less appealing features?" | "Jupiter Virilis wanted you to find a way to distract the priest from his problem with Julia." | -- | -- |
| hint_artist | "Polymnia[12 as a footnote]" | "Polymnia" | "Artists need two things: materials and material support." | "Polymnia said that the artist needs both materials and money." | -- | -- |
| hint_apple_dark | "Erebus" | "Erebus" | "Beware the dark. [italic type]Muahahahahaha[roman type]!" | "Erebus warned you to beware the darkness." | -- | -- |
| hint_apple_light | "Eris" | "Eris/Discordia" | "Give it to me, Stiffy. Give it to me [italic type]hard[roman type]." | "Eris wanted you to fuck her, apparently." | -- | -- |
| hint_alleymaze | "Mercury" | "Mercury/Hermes" | "Alleys are shady places, full of criminals. Don[apostrophe]t drop anything, and especially don[apostrophe]t drop the soap! Also, as mazes go, this isn[apostrophe]t a tough one." | "Mercury has warned you to be extra-careful in alleys, and that the Twisty Little Alley is not a difficult maze." | -- | -- |
| hint_slutty_julia | "Jupiter Virilis" | "Jupiter/Virilis" or "Jupiter Virilis" | "Give her what she wants." | "Jupiter said you should satisfy Julia." | -- | -- |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place |
| hint_lovenest | "Priapus" | "Priapus" | "Hey, finally some lube! Have a wank!" | "Priapus said you should beat off." | -- | -- |
| hint_dockside | "Abeona[14 as a footnote]" | "Abeona" | "You[apostrophe]d best get the signet ring to show to Bruno." | "Abeona told you to get your father[apostrophe]s signet ring." | -- | -- |
| hint_cocky | "Jupiter Virilis" | "Jupiter/Virilis" or "Jupiter Virilis" | "Show him evidence of my favor." | "Jupiter said you should prove to your father that you have divine favor." | -- | -- |
| hint_filthy | "Sterculius[16 as a footnote]" | "Sterculius/Sterculus" | "If you really feel you [italic type]must[roman type] get clean, you should probably go to the baths." | "Sterculius said you should take a bath if you wanted to get the sewage off you." | -- | -- |
| hint_sewers | "Cloacina[19 as a footnote]" | "Cloacina" | "You probably need to wander more through these lovely, lovely sewers." | "Cloacina advised you to explore more of the sewers." | -- | -- |
| hint_grate | "Cardea[20 as a footnote]" | "Cardea" | "Seems to me that you ought to unlock the grate, so you can exercise those hinges." | "Cardea said you needed to unlock the grate." | -- | -- |
| hint_glub | "Glub" | "Glub/Tsathoggua/Juiblex" | "WORSHIP ME, MORTAL! WHO[apostrophe]S MY BITCH?" | "Glub was just a dick about your worship." | -- | -- |
| hint_sewer_dark | "Erebus" | "Erebus" | "Beware the dark. [italic type]Muahahahahaha[roman type]!" | "Erebus warned you to beware the darkness." | -- | -- |
| hint_wait | "Sterculius[16 as a footnote]" | "Sterculius/Sterculus" | "Give the privy some time to air out." | "Sterculius said you needed to wait for the privy to air out." | -- | -- |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place |
| hint_palinurus | "Neptune" | "Neptune/Poseidon" | "Ask Palinurus where he can take you." | "Neptune said to ask Palinurus about destination ports." | -- | -- |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place |
| hint_archie | "Priapus" | "Priapus" | "Might as well get some shore leave in." | "Priapus said to take advantage of the downtime." | -- | -- |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place |
| hint_clap | "Asclepius" | "Asclepius" | "You should seek medical attention." | "Asclepius said to find a doctor." | -- | -- |
| hint_gate | "Jana" | "Jana/Janus" | "Hmmm. I guess it's a big secret how to open the gate. I wonder who can tell you secrets?" | "Jana said you needed to find someone to tell you the secret of the necropolis gate" | -- | -- |
| hint_weed | "Flora" | "Flora" | "The doctor told you that magic weed grows on graves. Why don't you try searching some of the tombs for it?" | "Flora suggested you search some of the tombs for the weed." | -- | -- |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place | |
| hint_cuma | "Apollo" | "Apollo" | "You came here to ask the Sybil's advice, right?" | "Apollo told you to address your queries to the Sybil." | -- | -- |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place | |
| hint_jonah | "Yahweh" | "Jehovah/Jehova/Yahweh/YHWH/God/G-d/JHVH/El-Shaddai" | "Jonah? What are you doing there? Get down to Nineveh and preach, already!" | "Yahweh mistook you for Jonah, and told you to go to Nineveh to preach." | -- | -- | |
| hint_judaea | "Yahweh" | "Jehovah/Jehova/Yahweh/YHWH/God/G-d/JHVH/El-Shaddai" | "[bold type]THOU SHALT HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME[roman type]. And I refuse to give you any help until you get circumcised. Chop chop!" | "Yahweh told you that a) you were to worship only him, and b) cut the end of your pecker off. Yeah, like [italic type]that's[roman type] gonna happen." | -- | -- |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place |
| hint_alexandria | "Thoth" | "Thoth" | "You should ask a librarian to find out the lore of the Golden Banana." | "Thoth suggested that you get a librarian to research the Golden Banana for you." | -- | -- |
| hint_currants | "Pomona[35 as a footnote]" | "Pomona" | "I bet that guard would like some fruit." | "Pomona suggested you find the guard some fruit." | ||
| hint_serapis | "Pluto" | "Pluto/Hades/Serapis" | "I've heard of you, mister. When you get down to my kingdom, stay away from my wife!" | "Pluto said you'd better stay away from his wife." | -- | -- |
| hint_coffin | "Libitina[34 as a footnote]" | "Naena/Libitina" | "You might want to take a peek in Alexander's mausoleum." | "Libitina said you should look inside Alexander's tomb." | -- | -- |
| hint_cleopatra | "Priapus" | "Priapus" | "Can you hear me rolling my eyes? I'm rolling my eyes. C'mon, buddy, what do you [italic type]think[roman type] you should do?" | "Priapus was astonished that you hadn't yet tried to seduce Cleopatra." | -- | -- |
| hint_alexander | "Priapus" | "Priapus" | "So maybe it's a little nasty, but how often are you going to be all alone with the corpse of the greatest conqueror ever?" | "Priapus suggested that you should take advantage of the unique opportunity to bone Alexander's corpse." | -- | -- |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place |
| hint_circumcision | "Puta" | "Puta" | "'You've got to get the skin off that banana some way.'" | "Puta[40 as a footnote] said you'd need to peel the Golden Banana." | -- | -- |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place |
| hint_pirates | "Nehalennia[42 as a footnote]" | "Nehalennia" | "'Why did they put you through to me? I'm a [italic type]Celtic[roman type] goddess. You're on your own." | "Nehalennia said that, as you're a Roman rather than a Celtic traveller, you were on your own." | -- | -- |
| hint_cabin_boy | "Clayton Williams" | "Clayton/Williams" or "Clayton Williams" | "'It's inevitable, so you might as well relax and enjoy it[79 as a reference]." | "Clayton Williams advised you to relax and enjoy being raped by the pirate captain." | -- | -- |
| hint_rowing | "Poena[44 as a footnote]" | "Poena" | "'Ha! Suck it up and do as you're told!" | "Poena told you to do as you were told in the Galley." | -- | -- |
| hint_woad | "Don Woods" | "Don/Woods/Crowther/Will" or "Don Woods" or "Will Crowther" | "Get out of this the same way you got into it: an ancient and mysterious Word of Power." | "Don Woods told you that you needed to re-invoke an ancient and mysterious Word of Power." | -- | -- |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place |
| hint_battlement_recap | "Icarus" | "Icarus" | "Jump!" | "Icarus said to jump." | -- | -- |
| hint_lake_recap | "Neptune" | "Neptune/Poseidon" | "Looks like you[apostrophe]re gonna drown." | "Neptune said you were going to drown." | -- | -- |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place |
| hint_alley | "Mercury" | "Mercury/Hermes" | "Alleys are shady places, full of criminals. Don[apostrophe]t drop anything, and especially don[apostrophe]t drop the soap!" | "Mercury has warned you to be extra-careful in alleys." | -- | -- |
| hint_bone | "Pluto" | "Pluto/Hades/Serapis" | "You might look around to see who could use a new femur. And keep your hands off my wife!" | "Pluto told you to look for someone who needed a new femur, and to stay away from Persephone." | -- | -- |
| hint_bone_boned | "Pluto" | "Pluto/Hades/Serapis" | "You boned my wife. I[apostrophe]m not helping you. Fuck off." | "Pluto was peeved with you for fucking Persephone." | -- | -- |
| hint_persephone | "Persephone" | "Persephone" | "I sure could use that hat, Stiffy!" | "Persephone wanted Stetson[apostrophe]s hat." | -- | -- |
| hint_stetson | "Vertumnus[15 as a footnote]" | "Vertumnus" | "He[apostrophe]s got a really nice garden, but you might want to find out what[apostrophe]s buried in it." | "Vertumnus said there[apostrophe]s something buried in Stetson[apostrophe]s garden." | -- | -- |
| hint_cerberus_guarding | "Janus" | "Janus" | "You[apostrophe]ve gotta get the dog away from the gate before you can go through it." | "Janus told you to get Cerberus away from the gate." | -- | -- |
| hint_cerberus_intrigued | "Vertumnus[15 as a footnote]" | "Vertumnus" | "That dog will follow you now; take him to the garden." | "Vertumnus told you to take the dog to the garden." | -- | -- |
| hint_tiresias | "Eros" | "Eros" | "How many times are you going to get the chance to fuck a hermaphrodite?" | "Eros said you should bang Tiresias." | -- | -- |
| hint_sweeny | "Bacchus" | "Bacchus/Dionysos" | "Poor Sweeny seems awfully thirsty. Find him a drink." | "Bacchus wanted you to bring Sweeny a drink." | -- | -- |
| hint_olive | "Ceres" | "Ceres/Demeter" | "That olive really needs brining. Have you seen any vinegar?" | "Ceres felt you could use vinegar to brine the olive." | -- | -- |
| hint_madame | "Bacchus" | "Bacchus/Dionysos" | "Madame Sosostris would follow someone who brought her an olive just about anywhere." | "Bacchus thought you should find an olive for Madame Sosostris." | -- | -- |
| hint_charon | "Asclepius" | "Asclepius" | "Charon[apostrophe]s leg is bothering him. Seen anything that might help?" | "Asclepius thought that Charon[apostrophe]s leg needed fixing, and that you could help him." | -- | -- |
| hint_agamemnon | "Sterculius[16 as a footnote]" | "Sterculius/Sterculus" | "Some people don[apostrophe]t like being constantly shat upon. Can you find him a shield?" | "Sterculius sent you to find something to shield Agamemnon from the bird guano." | -- | -- |
| hint_tantalus | "Bacchus" | "Bacchus/Dionysos" | "Tantalus is really, [italic type]really[roman type] thirsty. Get that man a drink!" | "Bacchus commanded you to get Tantalus a drink." | -- | -- |
| hint_sweeny_horny | "Venus" | "Venus/Aphrodite" | "Maybe you could fix Sweeny up with a date?" | "Venus wanted you to find Sweeny a date." | -- | -- |
| hint_madame_horny | "Venus" | "Venus/Aphrodite" | "Madame S. needs to get laid. Badly." | "Venus thought Madame Sosostris needed to find a man." | -- | -- |
| hint_grahams | "Mercury" | "Mercury/Hermes" | "The Grahams are pretty boring, but they[apostrophe]ve got something you need. Best separate them from it." | "Mercury told you that the Grahams had something you needed, which you needed to part them from." | -- | -- |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place |
| hint_kentucky | "Don Woods" | "Don/Woods/Crowther/Will" or "Don Woods" or "Will Crowther" | "Heh. Sorry, Stiffy: you[apostrophe]re fucked." | "Don Woods told you that you[apostrophe]re fucked." | -- | -- |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place |
| hint_mantua | "Calliope[46 as a footnote]" | "Calliope/Kalliope" | "Why don't you do what Vergil suggests?" | "Calliope suggested you follow Vergil's lead." | -- | -- |
| hint_doolittle | "Diana" | "Diana" | "'Wouldn't it be nice to be able to understand that duck better?'" | "Diana thinks you should find a way to understand the duck." | -- | -- |
| hint_good_wine | "Bacchus" | "Bacchus/Dionysos" | "The good wine probably will take some finding." | "Bacchus said that the good wine was probably better-hidden" | -- | -- |
| hint_moonmilk | "Luna" | "Luna/Selene" | "Have a closer look at the moonmilk." | "Luna told you to examine the moonmilk more carefully" | -- | -- |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place |
| hint_fur | "Chione" | "Chione/Khione" | "You'd better find some warm clothing" | "Chione suggested you find some warm clothes." | -- | -- |
| hint_stick | "Mercury" | "Mercury/Hermes" | "A walking stick would come in handy" | "Mercury told you to find a walking stick." | -- | -- |
Table of Prayer (Continued)
| state | governing deity | topic | advice | summary | turn stamp | place |
| hint_trivia | "Trivia" | "Trivia" | "Oh, well played. I am indeed Trivia, goddess of the Three Ways, slightly fewer than half of the liberal arts, esoteric knowledge, sixty-degree circular wedges, text adventurers, and, as I mentioned, the Last Lousy Point. Would you like to score it? It's yours for the taking." | "Trivia confirmed your guess at her identity." | -- | -- |
[ Abeona: 14 ]
[ Vertumnus: 15 ]
[ Sterculius: 16 ]
[ Libitina: 34 ]
[ Pomona: 35 ]
[ Nehalennia: 42 ]
[ Poena: 44 ]